My Brain on Exercise

Working out and eating well is a constant struggle in my brain. I know I'm not the only one, but do you ever get stuck inside your brain and think to yourself, "OH my gosh. Shut up already!" because it's going like a million miles a minute and you can almost not sort out all the thoughts that are invading at the same time?
Here's a little what my brain looked like tonight before, during, and after my workout:
Before:

"7 days. You've gone a full 7 days...maybe 8 without working out. Seriously? You're abs were soo close. When did you last write in myfitnesspal? Is your food diary done? When was the last time you completed a day? Wasn't one of your patients going to start following you? They seriously are going to be like, "Yeah, she has this thin body and she doesn't even work for it. If I ate pizookies and calzones for dinner I would be 300 pounds." They don't even know I've never eaten a calzone or even MADE a pizzokie until last night. How many cookies did that amount to? I think I ate a bag of chocolate chips. Ok, not a bag, but enough to make me sick. Gross. I haven't eaten enough to have a stomachache like that in forever. Gross. I need peanut butter. Where is my peanut butter? What is it about eating peanut butter from a jar when I'm single? I guess that's kind of the sign for me. 'Is Christin single? I don't know, is there a jar of peanut butter in sight?' Holy crap I have eaten SO much chocolate this week. I'm probably going to die of a heart attack. So much for buying my gourmet dark chocolate. Now I just eat that AND the Hershey hugs. Classy. This is ridiculous. What time is it? How much time have I spent on Pinterest tonight? Are you ever going to workout again? I love these quotes. Oh my gosh look at her legs! I really need that girl from the gym's leg workout. She totally had to think I was a freak. I wonder if she'll make a copy of it for me. Whatever. What time is it? Is it even worth working out tonight? Seriously, Christin, it's not like you're really bonding with Vanie right now. You cannot spend another night being lazy on this couch. No more losing $15 to freaking gympact. Seriously. Get up. get up. You just have to do 30 minutes tonight. Nothing crazy. Just 30 minutes to have less of the ice cream from tonight living on your thighs." Thank goodness it's Breyer's and not Blue Bell. It's not even worth eating.  It's like EASY to put away. blech.
text from jonmark. who is AT his gym. 
me (putting on gym clothes).
"It's amazing how having a friend at the gym can motivate you to go to your own gym and stop being lazy. Ok. Tomorrow I have the day off. It doesn't even matter that it's 11 o'clock. You were supposed to go at 9. Where's my water bottle? This is going to be great. A nice little refreshing workout. What's that pinterest quote? 'You are only one workout away from a good mood.' More like one workout away from stopping being a lazy butt." K. Let's go.
me (5 minutes in)

"Oh my gosh! How much saturated fat did I eat this week? I'm going to have a heart attack right here on this elliptical. This is ridiculous. This is how people die while exercising. Because they don't eat well. They exercise but they eat like crap and their bodies can't keep up so they die because of all the terribleness in their arteries.
me (minutes 5-35)
It is so much easier to workout when someone notices. What about all the people who never have anybody to support them? That is just so sad. It's fine. I don't need anyone to notice my lats. I can notice my OWN lats. What's my heart rate? Oh good, it's just a couple beats up above normal. Maybe I'm not completely out of shape after 8 days. How many plates does that guy have on that leg press. Holy crap. I really need that girl's leg workout. I've gone 2 weeks without leg workouts. I love this song. I need to do an ironman. Or just a triathlon again. I love training for triathlons. Ahhh!! I just want abs. That is so superficial. I don't care. I want them. There are so many good different workouts to do. I don't know how even to decide on all of them. I ate a chicken breast at the bowling alley. how crazy was that? who cares. totally worth it. Can I fit an hour of cardio in while I do weights? Probably not. That's a lot of figuring out how early I can get up in the morning. I really need to make sure I get 7 1/2 hours of sleep or I won't lose weight at all. Gosh dang Glamour article. Whew! 383 calories awesome. Who really has $800,000 to buy a house (HGTV was on)? Am I even sweating enough? I wonder. I don't ever feel like I'm sweating like crazy. I need gloves so I can do that hanging ab workout thing. How many pull-ups can I do? I want to do pull-ups all the time. Done!
me (driving home)
my hair is soaking wet. Awesome! I should be a boxer. Muhammad Ali's daughter is the coolest. I need to take that boxing class again. I could totally beat someone up. It's amazing how I can feel like a ridiculous couch potato for like 5 days and an olympic athlete after an hour. Ahh. So good. So productive. What is that statistic on how much more productive you are on days you work out? Like 60% I think. That is so true with me. I get so much stuff done on the days I work out. I should open a gym. Like a gym/health center. Then I can take appointments during the day and teach aerobics at night.I think I have so much in me. I need to be 3 people. Then I can do tons of stuff. I think I am totally scared of doing Jamie Eason's Phase 3. Why else would I be on Week 8 for like the 4th week? Am I scared of what it means? Or of running out of workouts when it's done? I can totally do it. It won't be that hard. And I'm going to love it. What am I scared of? Seriously. If I just do four workouts a week it's not like I'm going to regret it. It's going to be amazing. And I'm going to start tomorrow.

And now that I'm home, my mind. is. quiet. And that is why I  have to workout.