Pedialyte and Noodle Soup (and family time. and sad break-up time.)

Sometimes it's best not to blog right when your in the throes of things, but sometimes it's best when you just do. Because sometimes so much is going on that you just need to talk about it, and journals just don't cut it those times.
So this week my parents came in to town. Not for any reason but to just chill and be with us all. And maybe see the Easter pageant. Sunday night, I cooked for everyone and it was just a quick little visit before they took off to sleep at their hotel.
Monday night, we went to Pappadeaux, our favorite Texan Cajun restaurant that is somehow miraculously here. It's not quite the same deliciousness as there, but it was amazing nonetheless (especially, maybe, Jonmark's Hawaiian Tuna incredible-ness).
So we had a wonderful time, and my parents met Jonmark and loved him and met Brea and loved her and it was just fun to sit around and talk forever.

And Tuesday morning Jonmark and I decided to take a little break. From each other. It was one of those things we both were waiting to happen and hoping it wouldn't, but it did. I spent the rest of the day eating cashews and strawberries and a cupcake and doing homework. Tuesday night my family and I all went to the Easter pageant at the temple and ate Bahama Bucks shaved ice afterwards 'cause that's the Mormon thing to do. My mom kept saying how much she missed Jonmark (yes, we all did), but it was still a good experience, and my dad may have even shed a couple tears at the pageant. Maybe.


I, lucky me, woke up at 4am puking my guts out. I thought at first it was caused by me taking iron on an empty stomach, but it wasn't and I felt like dying all night long.
I texted Jonmark to see if he was sick. He wasn't. What he was was incredibly sweet and good to me. And brought me over noodle soup and pedialyte and beautiful yellow tulips. And read me my favorite little kids' books that I have in my room. While I tried to stay awake. And I think I did. For a little bit.

My puking stopped. It actually stopped with dramamine at noon. But my fever was 100.6 (You know I took it no less than 5 times a day). Thursday my parents left a day early. Something about their children being responsible (Brad) and sick (me) and boring (both of us). I was feeling good enough to go to Brad's with Jonmark and say good-bye.
And after spending most of the day together again, Jonmark left for Reno for Easter. I was almost going to go, but somewhere in between us "taking a break" and it being the last crazy weekend of the semester and clinicals and promising Brad to spend Easter with him, I stayed.
And went shopping on my own for some sustenance. In my pajamas. Including bananas, potassium pills, more pedialyte, and calming nighttime baby lotion. Which was good to have on hand. Because sometime around 2 a.m. today, our "break" turned into a change-it-on-facebook kind of break-up. It was, of course, quite possibly my fault. It seems to generally be. Whether it be commitment or timing or my heart or whatever, for now, we're not dating.
But he is still an incredible man. This I, of course, know- or we wouldn't have dated. So, anyways, we'll see.
It feels a little like my world is quickly becoming unraveled.
First, this.
And, my clinical site fell through. Which was also a job opportunity.
AND, another job opportunity is moving slowly.
AND, my lease is almost up and I don't know where I'm going.
AND, I am probably going to drop out of this program at semester because I cannot be excited about it and because finding a place to do my project is not going well at all and basically, I am declaring, I NEED A BREAK!!!
BUT that upsets my whole equilibrium which is already not doing all that well.
It hopefully means I can work out more and do a triathlon again, and maybe, possibly, enjoy my life instead of staring at a computer screen every waking moment and missing another gorgeous spring.
Hopefully it means that I can at some point make time for lover and babies.
We will see.
For now I will focus on eating. Because, since Tuesday night, I have had:
2 pieces of toast (one with ginger jam and one with huckleberry, both given to me with love)
1 roll
1 banana
1 piece of bread
1 bowl of noodle soup
1/2 bag of baby goldfish
2 liters of pedialyte
1 cookie
1 bowl of cereal
And lots of water.
That's it. The semi-anorexic in me is wondering just how long a girl can live on Pedialyte.
Don't worry. I'll be eating soon. Maybe even tomorrow.
And just in case he's reading this:
Thank you. So much. I'm a lucky lucky girl.