Wednesday, January 06, 2010

Half-Elf

Last year around April, I posted about how I lived like ELF, on the four food groups of candy, candy canes, candy corn, and syrup. This isn't exactly true, but to say that sugar is somewhat necessary in my chemical make-up is not an understatement.
Case in point: In early 1999, I decided I had gained a lot of weight and was going to do Marilou Henner's 30 Day Total Health Makeover.
This lovely torturefest includes: No sugar, no dairy, no meat, and no alcohol. The last one wasn't so bad, but the first two almost killed me. I did, from this endeavor, try a lot of new foods for the first time (and plenty for the last time), but it also had an unintended side effect.
You see, a girl in my ward is tiny and vibrant and 19 and hasn't had sugar in like 2 years and loves it.
My mother says sugar is poison and she feels so much better without it.
I turn into a mean little girl who hates the world.
Day 21 of this Total Health Makeover happened to be Easter.
I ate an entire bag of those little Reese's Pieces eggs and then proceeded to puke my guts out from all the sugar.
And I did not makeover my life for the next 7 days.
I have since learned the pleasures of balancing my diet (most days). I still go for the fastest food possible when I am convinced I am starving. Brad has even gone to screaming, "I'll make you a sandwich! I'll make you a sandwich!!" to keep me from living on string cheese, cashews, and whole wheat fig newtons. Or any chocolate we have lying around.
John says I keep the most random food scorecard he has ever heard of. For example, one day Lunch was 2 Rice Krispie Treats from Starbucks (which are, by the way, incredible) and then I met my fellow students for dinner, where I just ordered Deviled Eggs & Ham. Everyone kind of laughed, but to me it made perfect sense. A pure carb lunch calls for a pure protein dinner. (Oh, and I had an apple for my fruit in between. )
Lately, I've restarted my version of the Abs Diet, which, again, I love. It makes me eat real food much more often than the nearest, fastest sugar. But I have a funny habit of eating food in my dreams whenever I'm hungry, which sometimes happens after work.
Last night my dreamland self stirred chocolate chips into her Belly Busting Smoothie.
I guess I really am half-elf.

3 comments:

RC said...

When your mother goes on one of these diets I immediately get way hungrier and eat everything in sight. That way, whether she loses her desired weight goal or not, she seems thinner because I get heavier! I would have dreamed of brisket or ribs myself. Seems way more enticing than chocolate.

Jessica McIntyre said...

What your "your version of the Ab Diet"? Do you not follow the book?

indeazgirl said...

I mostly follow the book. Except I made creme brulee on New Years Eve and had another one of them the next day. And participated in the Mexican potluck at work. AND...I'm using my crock-pot now once a week so I'm substituting one or two dinners for that. I'm trying to make it extremely liveable, but I probably am eating 70% of the stuff it says. ;-)