Forced Into Silence

In 1st grade, I was shy. I couldn't speak up, and my handwriting was so tiny no one could read it, a small sign of my child-like insecurity.

At Some Point This Wore Off. 
Today I woke up and was forced into silence. Something had taken over my vocal cords, rendering my generally loud and clear voice a pathetic and tiny whisper. This has proven to be completely paralyzing. 

And completely hilarious to everyone else. 

I made it through church, making no comments whatsoever. I had considered bearing my testimony. But could not. Brad refused to make the comments I whispered to him during Sunday School, completely altering my church experience. And making me a better listener, I'm sure. 

The volume in our home has dropped drastically, even with company. Apparently when one person who talks a lot whispers, a universally reverent tone becomes the standard. 

And people expect me to talk. Our neighbor came over to give us some extra cantaloupe. And nobody got up. They just waited for me to do it. Even though I didn't answer the door and I didn't have a voice!! Eventually I got up and whispered to our neighbor. I guess I've set some kind of pattern that's hard to break. 

While making cookies in the kitchen while Brad and friends talked in the living room, I occasionally couldn't help it and made a little comment. Only to be greeted with, "What? What is that noise? Is Christin talking? Somebody go in there and see what she said." 

Brad finally said, "Christin, just clap when you're getting ready to talk so we can be listening." 

Ok.

So sad. 

I'm not used to people saying "What?" Ever. 

And that's all I've heard the past 24 hours. I feel like I'm fading already.